I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
