Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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