I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize