My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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