508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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