I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
