I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
