It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
