what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
