I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
