mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
