you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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