There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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