the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
