There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
