you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
