If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
