At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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