mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
