My brain says no but my pants say off.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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