just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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