Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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