there's paper in my vomit.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
