Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
