WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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