i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
