I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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