don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
