so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
