Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
