Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
