I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
