I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
