You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
