erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
