I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
