I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
