is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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