Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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