So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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