Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
