You just made me feel so damn special
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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