Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize