just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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