You surviving the open bar?
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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