the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
