if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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