Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
