i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
