I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I cannot find my penis.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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