she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
