I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
