BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
