is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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