I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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