we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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