oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
