yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
