hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
